About five or so years ago, just before I gave up my good health and freedom to become a nameless wage slave at [company name withheld for legal reasons], I was happily patting myself on the back for successfully completing the surprisingly difficult task of restoring three sets of old, beat-up MIJ bongos. However I never did get around to writing up a final report and featuring those projects on the blog here. When I came across the filed-away "Before" photos in recent days, unfortunately I was reminded that I could dig those old bongos out of the storage unit, take a few quick "After" photos and subsequently bore you to death with the mundane story of "How It All Came to Pass," as Gandalph would say.
Then somehow, as if it were a minor miracle, a different type of Japanese-made drum popped up in my search results. What's this? A pair of MIJ bongos? Cool! Never attempted those before. Shall I give them a go? I say, old boy! I believe I shall! Pip-pip and Right-o! Well played, my good man!
****Editor's Note: While I may offer no reasonable explanation as to why the discovery of a set of Japanese bongos resulted in the misplacedmtnman's inner monologue developing a British accent, past experience would lead me to believe he is padding the paragraphs of this article to make it longer, thus justifying the use of more photos. Nobody reads the text anyway. Let's just move on.****
The restoration process for these instruments was the same simple and standard procedure I and the multitude of other restorationists around the world utilize to salvage abandoned and neglected things: Take everything completely apart, clean the heck out of every little nut and bolt and put it all back together again. So why did I describe these projects earlier as "surprisingly difficult?" Well, because there was one step in this process that proved to be most challenging to overcome.
I was at the point where I was ready to reassemble and it was time for the final finishing flourish: the drum heads. So naturally I need to install new heads, right? Just pop on some fresh skins and bongo my days away! THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK! The WMP and CSP sets had busted heads on the hembra side and the BSP had no heads at all, so out comes the measuring tape.* I jot down the dimensions of the old heads and off I go to hunt down the replacements. As it frequently goes with MIJ, I quickly realized there was an inescapable complication with restoring these bongos, and the probable reason why the previous owners hadn't changed out the skins. In other words, "Indiana, I's got a issue."
Giant Obvious Spoiler Alert: Made-in-Japan bongos from the 1960s or 70s were not manufactured in exactly the same standard sizes as other bongos made by LP or Ludwig or what-have-you. According to questionable sources such as Wikipedia, "Bongo drums are about 8 inches high and have diameters of approximately 8 in. and 10 in." My bongos measure like....6-1/4" and 7-3/4"? Double-you tea eff?
#@&%$?!! The Japanese strike again! As the Democrats would say, this was worse than Pearl Harbor....BUT I WAS NOT DETERRED! I pressed onwards and I continued to search for the correct heads or more accurately, some damb heads that would work. After weeks and weeks and numerous attempts and fails I finally discovered the winning combination that fit right. Unfortunately this success occurred five years ago and I have regrettably forgotten the combination.
BUT....that's why eBay retains my Purchase History, am I right? So let's go way back, all the way back to the ancient days of April 2021 when, exhausted and beaten down by the strenuous quest and filled with unrelenting doubt and despair, I clicked the "Buy Now" button on yet another 6" and 8" head to attempt one last time to complete my confounded inexecutable mission. This pair, it turns out, are the only replacement bongo heads IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE that will actually fit my drums.
And the winners are: a 6-inch CP (a cheaper percussion line sold by Latin Percussion) and an 8-inch LP City Series. Those are the only two that work....or should I say, worked for me? If there is a better solution I sure couldn't find it. Perhaps a custom set could be specially made that would be absolutely perfect, but at this point I was too tired of these projects and ready to move on. I didn't pursue that route.
And so now I am at long last finished with this trio of bongo projects, and even more tired. I must go and rest so I may live to restore another day.....oh, wait! A Black Diamond Pearl set just popped up on eBay! Cheerio, old man! I must immediately register my bid! Here I go again.....
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* Just a quick explanation of the nomenclature: WMP = White Marine Pearl; BSP = Blue Sparkle Pearl; CSP = Champagne Sparkle Pearl. Also, with bongos the smaller 8" drum is referred to as the macho (male) and the larger 10" is the hembra (female). This, I feel, is a little chauvinistic, calling the fatter drum the female, but I didn't invent the distinction. It also sheds a humorous light on the American phrase "macho man," a somewhat derogatory term attached to men who act too forward and/or authoritatively, when in reality it can literally be translated as "a male man." But since the label macho is on the smaller bongo, to me it conjures up the image of a small man trying too hard to act like a big man, all while being attached at the hip to his larger wife. I'm probably thinking way too deeply on this, but it made me chuckle nonetheless.
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****ARTICLE UPDATE: I am happy to report that I did not remember to put a bid on those BDP bongos and totally missed out. Auction over. No drums purchased. Everyone calm down and return to your regularly scheduled programs.****
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