Hello and welcome to another edition of "DUMB DRUMS," my take on the weird and retarded setups of other drummers. This time I have several interesting arrangements to share. This first one is a massive 10-piece Slingerland kit played by Carmine Appice on the 1983 Ozzy Osbourne "Bark at the Moon" World Tour.
Now you're probably thinking, "What the freeze-pop, misplacedmtnman?! This kit is totally awesome!" And you would be absolutely correct. This kit IS totally awesome: all those toms in red laquer finish, two monstrous 24" kicks in black laquer finish, a custom 5x14 black brass snare drum and assorted gold-plated hardware? Plus the whole kit is rigged up for internal microphones and autographed all over by the semi-legendary Carmine Appice himself!
What makes this drumset dumb is the fact that it is currently up for sale on Ebay for a completely reasonable NINE THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED NINETY-FIVE DOLLARS plus totally-understandable and in no way ridiculous EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS shipping.
Really? What "Rock 'n' Roll Rebel" sitting at his computer perusing Ebay in his pajama bottoms has ten-point-seven-nine-five thousand dollars to spend on a used drum kit like this? I don't know but GOSH DANG I wish it was me!! I'd love to fix up these drums because seriously, if you look closely at all the photos provided for the auction you can see they are most definitely beat to Hades. Filthy, banged-up, chipped, scuffed and otherwise shamefully abused! Did Carmine not have road cases? If he had spent as much time taking care of this set as he did writing his damb name all over it, it might be in much nicer shape. Or did Ozzy chuck this kit off a hotel balcony late one night in a drunken rage? Just how wacky-wild was that "Bark at the Moon" tour?
"Now You See It, Now You Don't:" This auction has some fine print that reveals the cymbals and bass pedals pictured are not included. DOH!
Okay, so obviously I don't have ten-point-eight G's to get Carmine's Slingerlands out of hock (I rounded that figure). That's just fine and dandy. I have other less expensive options from the same seller.....such as this:
TAKE HOLD OF THE FLAME!! This kick-butt set of black-and-gold Ludwigs belonged to Scott Rockenfield of Queensryche on their first tour for the "Warning" album in 1984. This absolutely-beautiful and historically-significant item has a rock bottom starting bid of SEVEN THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED NINETY-FIVE DOLLARS plus the usual EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS shipping because hey, they will professionally pack and ship this item to ensure its safe delivery. You can count on that.
By the way, was there a trend among heavy metal drummers in the mid-1980s to have bass drums with finishes that didn't match the rest of the kit? I don't remember that at all. Fairly interesting concept however. It really accentuates the metallic gold on those deep toms.
Well, I really do like that kit but what other sets are up for auction that don't have sky-high starting bids? How about this cool clear kit?
NOTHIN' BUT A GOOD TIME! This is a far-out, five-piece Pork Pie acrylic set used by the drummer for Poison that has a start-off bid of $1,699.99 (only three days left to bid!) It is currently located and on display in Bismarck, North Dakota. Just how did it end up there, you wonder? As did I. Well, I'll tell ya. The super cool thing about this kit is the seller is a music store in North Dakota. They bought the kit from a guy who bought the kit from a drum technician, who was given the set by the original owner, his employer, that being the infamous Rikki Rockett of Poison.
My first thought after learning all this was of Rikki Rockett asking his former drum tech, "Hey, dude, what'd you do with that drum set I gave you in lieu of a paycheck for your work on the 2004 tour we did with KISS? What?! YOU SOLD IT TO A GUY WHO SOLD IT TO A MUSIC STORE THAT IS SELLING IT ON EBAY FOR SEVENTEEN HUNDRED BUCKS??!! Man, if I wasn't washed-up and broke I'd buy it back."
In spite of its questionably-documented association with a mildly-notable rock musician, this drumset is still, in my opinion, dumb. The single gigantic power tom between the virgin kicks is not an arrangement I have ever liked, and there's no snare drum. I guess Rikki had to pay off the drum tech's assistant with that.
Stupid. Gay. Dumb. Not interested. Next!
DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'! Here is a gorgeous green Sonor kit in near-mint condition that was meticulously maintained by Steve Smith of Journey for ten years (are you paying attention, Carmine?!). This awesome setup is presently available for the "Buy It Now" price of ELEVEN THOUSAND.....
Okay, sorry to keep shouting. $11,995.00 (plus shipping) and yes, it's the same blasted seller as the two sets formerly owned by Carmine Appice and Scott Rockenfield. Cheese Whiz! I wonder what other sets this guy has in his collection that he's selling off? An Elvin Jones Tama kit with the signature 18" bass drum??!
Yes. $9,995.00. Plus shipping.
Uh, a ten-piece, custom white-marine-pearl Yamaha played by Phil Ehart of Kansas??!
Yes. $8,995.00. Plus freight.
Frickin' fudgesicle sandwiches! You gotta be kidding me! Okay, how about Peter Criss' chrome snare drum from the 1977 KISS "Love Gun" tour.....autographed?
Yes. $5,995.00 plus $100.00 shipping.
Flaming Fig Newton fricassee! Where does this guy get all this stuff??!! He has everything! Ha! But I'll bet he doesn't have anything owned by the legendary, incomparable Buddy.....OH, GODDANGIT!!
Buddy Rich vintage 1966 Fibes chrome-over-fiberglass kit complete with classic "BR" logo bass drum head, autographed snare head, Slingerland cymbal stands and cases.
ONLY TWENTY-NINE THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED NINETY-FIVE DOLLARS PLUS NINE HUNDRED FIFTY FOR SHIPPING.
See? Now I'm yelling again. All these drumsets are STUPID and GAY and DUMB because there's no way I or anyone else would ever be able to afford them. And that makes me MAD!! This seller is just showing off and rubbing it in our faces!
DUMB!
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Okay, in all seriousness, all these drumsets (except the Rikki Rockett kit) are part of the extensive collection assembled at the Donn Bennett Drum Studio, a massive drum shop and music school located in Bellevue, Washington.
This drum store is so packed with drum stuff they have snare drums hanging from the ceiling (which is a pretty good idea - maybe I'll do that with the "snare stack" in my collection). Believe me, if you wanted to get rid of me for a month you could leave me in this establishment and I would never get bored walking around looking at all the percussion products.
Anyway, they have a website, they have a Facebook page, and they sell stuff on Ebay. Look them up if you're interested. They're definitely not dumb. I'm just horribly envious.
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